Mom Brain

Just something I wanted to note before I forget!

Yesterday morning I woke up to my kiddo's tossing and turning, I scooted close and gently rubbed his head... He flailed his arms whapping me in the face with one hand and finding his pacifier with the other- He put the pacifier in his mouth and rolled to his side, away from me, and fell asleep!  I would be offended if sleep weren't so precious!

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Wear the Baby

COATS for BABYWEARING

I have 3 coats from 2 vendors and the basic review is: you get what you pay for.

The week before Christmas I was babywearing without a babywearing coat outside in the cold and decided I needed one, we deserved one!  I went online and ordered from fun2BEmum's Etsy store; shipping from Poland it said to expect up to 6 weeks for delivery.  I then googled baby wearing coat and found some cheap versions on Ebay, with iffy reviews; for $20, I had to buy one to see, shipping from China it said to expect 6-8 week delivery time:

Coat 1:  Received for Christmas from my wishlist (4 days after placing the order for the other coats!), fun2BeMum "Little Bear" baby wearing coat

I LOVE IT!  It's an easy to wear one zipper coat, after putting your baby in a front carrier, you put the coat on like a coat, tuck a fleece piece between the baby and you so his hood is in the right place.  It's really warm and cute.  The only con is the hand pockets are kind of far back, closer to hips than kangaroo pocket style on most hoodies.  This coat and my baby wearing carrier are usually in my car for adventures (or a Costco run).  XXXL(18/20) and coat hits at the bottom of my bottom.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/456747080/little-bear-baby-carrier-babycarrying?ref=shop_home_active_23

Us at the zoo

fun2BEmum tag/info

Maternity panel and baby wearing panel on top

Coat 2: fun2BEmum "Luna" it's baby wearing coat functionality is the same as the Little Bear, but because it has zip in panels it is more versatile: No panel and the coat wears like a regular fleece jacket, zip in the pregnant panel for extra belly room, and zip in the baby wearing panel to go over a baby in a front carrier.  It's great, all the good things as the Little Bear (except no little bear ears on the baby hood), with the versatility to wear it as a jacket alone or when pregnant.  I wish I had ordered this as soon as I got pregnant!  XXXL(18/20) and coat hits at the bottom of my bottom.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/260067478/luna-3in1-babycarrying-jacket-maternity?ref=shop_home_active_29

us at the Women's March



Coat 3:  unknown/random foreign seller on Ebay

OMG.  2 things:  1, The materials and construction is very cheap:  The fabric is a very light weight fleece, only 1/2 the hems have been sergered, and the rest are single straight seams with unfinished edges, the "thumb holes" are a section of the cuff they just didn't sew closed.  2, This coat is not acceptable as made.  It is NOT made to wear WITH a baby IN a carrier- it's made with a baby pocket- that you put the baby into!!  DO NOT PUT A BABY IN A POCKET!!  The baby pocket zips into the front or the back of the jacket.  

My seller isn't selling anymore on ebay, but it was similar to: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Maternity-Polar-warm-fleece-Hoodie-Jumper-Pullover-Babywearing-BABY-CARRIERS-/222308427329?var=&hash=item33c29d6641:m:mTanR0Z-lXLxO0qz9OcnkMA

So I made a ***DIY FIX!!***  This coat is ridiculously cheap and dangerous as is.  The "Home Ec." sewing project vibe doesn't bother me for the price, I only paid $21, and a light weight fleece isn't bad since I want to baby wear in other seasons.  You're basically cutting the baby pocket open on the inside:  Put the carrier on, put the coat on, where the bottom of the baby pocket hits the bottom of the carrier, I cut open the inside of the pocket (so baby's body is where the pocket is, and head comes out the hood area.  I'll see how the unfinished edges and single seam construction hold up with wear and fix/re-sew as needed.  If I use this coat for a back baby carry coat, I'll re-DIY the back of the jacket to fit us.

*I did not get paid for reviews and all items were purchased at full price!!

Breast is breast

After every challenge breastfeeding, the on call nurse, who was consulting about baby constipation, because my body and baby never quite got the breastfeeding thing off the ground, so he's like 2% breast fed, and 98% formula fed... she told me to give it up.

She said I did good trying, that he got some, but stress I'm having from trying to get my boobs to work and my baby to take them isn't worth it.

She told me to take deep breath and that she gives me permission to formula feed him. And that he'll grow up healthy and strong and just fine.

So I'm wrapping my head around the option to give up. It's just another thing on the list of things that didn't go right this pregnancy, and I'm trying to be ok with all of them. 

PTSD, or current traumatic stress disorder... 

Now I feel it, now I don't

Complain about always feeling something: mild cramp type thing, round ligament thing, feeling full, sore boobs!

As soon as a feeling goes away: AM I STILL PREGNANT?!?!?

*I heard that when there is a misscarrage, the pregnant hormones disappear and many of the feelings go away very quickly. So basically I love that my nipples hurt! And if I don't notice any other feelings, I seek them:  I drink a big glass of cold water, I sit down/ stop moving (to better feel the babe move), I'll stretch lightly (activate the round ligaments), etc.

It's so weird. Give me all the feelings!! As long as I can still sleep.

(Cat belly naps!!)

Belly Up!

I'm starting to feel my belly touch the desk at work and remembering to scoot back a couple inches. At workout, I have to bend over different! Straddle the belly!! You can't even see it yet, but I feel it.

Letting go of "sucking it in" is weird! For my low back's DJD, I often suck my gut in, to keep the spine from over curving (PT prescribed), and it's a lot of work! I realize I'm doing it and stop, letting the guy suck in muscles go- belly out. It feels so good. That's when I am in love with my maternity pants!

Down with pants

I have on the loosest baggy, flared leg jeans I own... And yet it feels like my pants are strangling me. STRANGLING ME!!! 

I need a pickle.

Things I can't talk about-

until I can tell people I'm pregnant.

Drool is serious. Not sure if it's side effect of being nauseous or hormones, but I drool now. Like on my phone screen when I'm checking Facebook. 

I sing in the car, and I start each verse swallowing the drool in my mouth so I don't choke.

Week 6

The core of my people know I'm preggers. I've been trying, so it feels weird to not update... But being so early, it's standard to not share until past the scary 1st trimester.

Basically I can't complain!! Ha!

Fertility issues.

Trying to get pregnant, as in not currently pregnant but want to be more than anything:: Someone says to me, "You look pregnant."

Oh...

I'm right.

I'm right. The dr was wrong about the first thing we butted heads on, and I was tested. :-/

Fazes!

I mean phases. But I really mean doing and trying things!

Health issues have slowed mountain summiting plans, so that is still being trained for, but until my back is less painful and "rumbley" I will train with light packs.

Another phase or change has been Apple Cider Vinegar. I'm drinking it mostly daily and trying other healthy hippie ideas. Refrigerator oats. Arugula! 

And I'm going to buy a house! I'm going to move and be a commuter suburb dweller and start a new kind of adult life phase. No more studio apartment- I'll be a gardener! (I just started the process so it'll be a while, but I'm in it for the long haul. (30 year loans! Crazy!))

:-P

(I don't have any photos of the things I talked about- here's kind of where I live seen from the airplane)

Segmented.

Some days I feel awesome. Strong. Alluring. And then I take a picture and wonder if the rolls look like a bug to anyone else...

head, abdomen, thorax, big butt...

All the rolls don't look strong. Well. Maybe they should. It's not an exoskeleton, but it's been an armor for a while, and even though it bruises easily, it has made me stronger than you think!

Is this normal?

Sometimes I am so sure of things. Sure of my feelings or intentions. Sure of what's going to happen. Sure that someone will help me. Or sure that they will let me down.

But when things are upset, when I have no idea what's next, it's scary! Is everyone so sure of things? Or are they usually in this scary unknown? It freaks me out.  It effects things!

This weeks probable things: zits, sleep, decision making, dreams (when I can sleep), concentration, connecting with people (being self-involved), etc.

*cue my pity party

Hot Yoga

A friend was going to a Hot Yoga class, 10 classes for $10, I love to try new things and I went.

It was very hot. Yeah, I know, it's in the title, but it was claustrophobic-ly hot. It felt all kinds of wrong to be that hot and not be trying to cool myself. Seeking shade, a fan, a pool, AC...

I didn't last very long doing actual yoga in that heat; and as I laid on my mat sweat soaked and dripping from every exposed skin surface class went on, and my brain was on repeat:

*You are ok. You are not dying.

*People die from dehydration with water in their canteen, trying to conserve: DRINK!

*Need more water.

In that heat I moved slow and deliberate. As soon as class was over and I was back in regular temps I was giddy. I was soaked, cold, thirsty, and excited to try it again.

Note: While I heard a couple passes of gas, I never smelled anything. And no one had BO. I was worried Hot would = Smelly. Good surprises!

I think I've posted this before, "make your own panty" tutorial, I did! I followed the directions for panties and booty shorts. The shorts were easier to make, but the panties are super cute.

TMI- pms and the all night drug store

I ate a lot this weekend. None of it awful. No pints of ice cream, no frozen pizzas, but I ate A LOT. I tried to remind myself to drink water every time I was about to eat... it worked sometimes.

After work Sunday I went to the gym because of all the eating. After the gym I stopped by the 24 drug store to get a cheap ($2) photo album. I walked down the candy aisle. NEVER walk down the candy aisle alone in the middle of the night during PMS...

I walked down the make-up aisle... If I had unlimited funds I would have picked up a little bit of everything, polish in fun sparkly colors, eye shadows in bolder colors, liquid eye liner because I want to try it...

I walked down the face product aisle... all of a sudden I'm worried about my acne, wrinkles, firmness, lack of tan, and age spots...

And finally I browsed the travel sized section... tiny little bottles are so hard to resist!

Ugh. I left there with $47 worth of stuff precariously stacked. (reusable tote left in the car- I just went in for a photo album!)

Best find: 3 glue sticks for the price of 2 and Necco chocolate wafers
Worst find: $8 photo album that I'm returning.