DIET: take 17

I started a diet again.  A real one.  I just started.  Well, a week ago...

A week ago I was on my way to work and scarfed these fried bread things and and by the time I got to work I was so "..ehhhbleehhhhh..."  I decided right then I was going to start a diet.  Like NOW.

See... I had been putting it off (and off and off) because I have EPIC!! food adventures lined up!!
The Puyallup FAIR- ALL the FAIR food!!
The Herbfarm- Super Fancy NW based themed 9 course meal
Geek Girls Secret Potluck- just some crazy friends hanging out WITH FOOD!

But I was SOOO "..ehhhbleehhhhh..."  I had to start NOW, figuring Fridays can be my "cheat" day.

Cheat Day 1:  (pre shenanigan) Alcohol (the night before the fair), Fair Food (scones, a cookie, ribs, turkey leg, lemonade, chocolate covered bacon), and one 1/2 cup of real ice cream.

Post Cheat Day 1:  Serious withdrawal. 

I would have done anything for ANY. THING. with some SUGAR.

I did eat all the vegetables in my house. (including but not limited to: broccoli, brussels sprouts, lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, green onions, artichoke hearts)

Post Week 1:  I miss food.  I hate doing dishes.  I feel good- like in my bones- good.

A skinnier-person-than-I once said, "If I'm not hungry enough to eat an apple, I'm not hungry."

Feats

Listening to Little Feat thinking of my Aunt and my mom and road trips.

We used to take road trips, it might have been because we were poor, but we had fun and did stuff and I never felt like "We can't because we don't have money..."  But felt like "This is what is available, what do you want to do?"

This has been a "this is what is available, what do you want to do?" kind of summer.

I have a list.
A road trip is on the list.
Exercise hasn't made the list...
Soon, I'll have a few more things checked off and revisit exercise.  (I think about exercise more than I think about writing; I don't know if that means anything.)

I don't think he believes me

So tired.  So busy.  I just need a stay-cation to get everything done and in order and feel in control!

Even with a new "sick" symptom (sore throat) I made it back to the gym for the first time in 4 weeks!  It wasn't epic.  I survived.

A new group training session started and I'm not joining.  I feel like I need a break from anyone else's expectations or demands or input and just do stuff... working with a trainer has a lot of benefits- including hands on teaching/ new exercises, but sometimes I don't want to be present (mentally) for this stuff, just zone out and climb the stair mill (or whatever).

I texted my trainer that I'm taking this session off but will be back.  I don't think he believes me.  So I'll have to show him!  <3

(wtf cold/sick still around?  Maybe not a cold?  Maybe 3 different colds! grrr!)

I finally feel good! and I feel bad

2 days off in 3 weeks.  6 days off antibiotics.  I finally feel like myself and I feel so fat!

I was walking (dog walk/joging) a lot last week, but never made it to the gym.  I finally felt like I could handle the gym and I don't have time.  (bronchitis made me feel claustrophobic when breathing near people and susceptible to catching anything near by)  I have been eating mostly healthy, some not, and bad portion control.

 ugh.  So we start again.

PS good cheats:
Fries:  If you ever eat at RoRo's BBQ, order garlic fries with their truffle oil.  Trust me.
Mom's Swedish Pancakes:  I can't say no to my mom!!  They are delicious.  and I did kick the soccer ball around with my little cousin afterward!
Bacon:  Brussel sprouts and Kurobuta Bacon side at Metropolitan Grill.  Nothing sounded "healthy" as a side to my filet mignon, this side was so good, brussel sprouts I make at home taste like feet in comparison!

me, Maddie, Johanna, Lisa, and I totally forgot the guy on the end's name...

TAKE WITH FOOD

Cold was going away... and then felt horrible, coughing up stuff that could be from the movie Aliens.  I started work in the AM, woke up and went to urgent care.  Part of me is glad when they give me antibiotics.  Relief that I am doing all I can, or all western medicine top of the food chain I have thumbs and burn fossil fuel can.

First problem is I now have to eat something every 8 hours.  That blows off my feeding schedule.

Second problem is the threat of yeast infections: yogurt.

TMI WARNING:: POOP
New and horrible Third problem:  MY BODY HATES ANTIBIOTICS!!!  This was a new thing with last December's health issues/ antibiotics: my stomach on antibiotics turns everything passing through my stomach into !!  Well!  It's most like Split Pea Soup.  And it goes on:  Antibiotics- 10 days.  Diarrhea- 35 days.

*There is a diet for this issue:  I was on it for 4 weeks and it didn't help.
*There is over the counter medicine:  I took it for 2 days and it made my stomach gurgle but didn't improve.  All OTC for this says to stop after a couple days.
*There are tests to see if this issues is caused by something dangerous:  tests made me cry.  Poop/ digestive system normal & working.

Current situation:  tight ass hole!!
Coughing is scary.
Moist butt wipes are in my purse.

post cold update!

I'm sure I gained 5 pounds in 2 days of "regular" appetite eating.

Those cute red shorts I bought are gonna make me look like a red velvet cupcake, as my creamy cheese muffin top pops out of them!

cold schmold

...the moment when your cold meds ware off but you are taking nyquil in less than 2 hours and have to suffer until then...  Best thing about having a cold is loss of appetite.  I ate some yogurt and an entire package of fig newtons.  BUT NOTHING ELSE for 5 days.  My cold is ending (!yay!) but I only know that because I ate so much.  You can tell my trainer, it was all fresh fruit and a steak.  My favorite symptom of this cold was in my head, when I would lay down (from standing up/ if I stayed laying down nothing happened); laying down would make my head spin, like I was falling.  I really liked that feeling, like swinging with your eyes closed.

I think I had some epiphanies and then forgot them.  I did manage (because cold meds cause excitability thus the need for nyquil) to stay up most of 2 days and make my SEAF bustier.  I'm having 1st pancake syndrome and want to make another one, perfecting all the things that aren't...

Every warm day I want to cut my hair short.

NOT sitting at work

Months ago my trainer told me to bring in an exercise ball to work and sit on.  I work 12 hours shifts, most of which are seated, and would spend the middle 4-6 on the ball.  Until someone posted this link

Now I sit on the ball as much as possible.  "Hugging" the ball like a frog to stretch out my back inspired this photo session.  (I am here alone for 12 hours...)

 

Who's chasing who?

The two kind of workouts available:

Chaser:  In control, chasing the dragon*, not only do I want to be *HERE* doing this more than anything, I'm killing it.  I'm reaching my goals.

Today I had the other kind-

Chase-ee:  I started the stair-mill at lvl 7, and after 2 minutes had to go down to lvl 6...  I started the elliptical at lvl 12 and had to drop to lvl 11...  I'm only here because I don't want to (athletically/ physically) stay where I am, I'm trying to get ahead.  I'm being (mentally) chased by over thinking, food, or my bed, and everything feels so hard.

After the hump of my workout a friend found me and we chatted for a few minutes, totally ruining my "zone" BUT without even knowing it, they turned my head around, and I turned all my levels back up.

It wasn't my best workout, but that happens.

Sports bra created "Hidden Mickey" sweat pattern!

SORE MUSCLE SECRET: BCAA.  I always get sore after metabolic workouts.  I hate it because it is so much harder to get to the gym the next day.  a few weeks ago I was told about BCAA's and ever since (as long as I also stay hydrated) I haven't had any sore muscle issues.  AMAZING!

On My Way Home Bonus:  I stopped at Subway for a blackforest ham sub.  The guy said, "That's boring."

Me, "What's your favorite?"

him, "You."

"Sandwich?"

"I'd rather have you."

me, "Hahaha!  I need to eat something."

"Order anything.  I'll give it to you for blackforest ham price."

"Turkey, no cheese, spinach..."

him "Why spinach?"

me "healthier."

him, "You look good."

"I'm so sweaty."

"Yes you are... I like it."

*awkward pause*

me "...thank-you...tomatoes..."

*I know that "chasing the dragon" is a drug reference, BUT I'm taking it:  Somedays I feel like a fucking warrior- one who would pick up my +5 Dragon slaying sword and chase the dragon down.

Stay-cation... ish.

A week ago I began a downward spiral of not enough sleep; by Thursday I broke my energy source.  Slept 10 hours, then stayed in bed for 36 more hours!  I didn't get dressed, I didn't leave my apartment, I even started to put my contacts in to go to the gym... and wanted to cry.  So I didn't.  It was like being sick without the horrible being sick part.  I felt crazy lazy, but it was perfectly needed.

Love and LUST!!  Today I went to the volunteers meeting for SEAF (Seattle Erotic Art Festival).  I am so excited for this year's festival!  I have 3 outfits planned/ gonna make/ parts* ordered.  The Festival's theme is 10 Years of Love and Lust.  HOW FREAKIN PERFECT!!  I have "Lust" clothes from derby days (FloodLust)!  My mom said she'd go!  I'm not super sure that's a good idea (mom and sex don't mix), but she can see the excitement in my face!

Planning the skimpy clothes for SEAF should inspire more gym and less food.  Food:  when I grocery shop, I'm afraid of a "What Not To Wear" style food ambush by my trainer, that I don't put anything bad in my cart.  Until I'm done.  Then, if I still don't see him, I'll grab a "not that bad" treat.  Don't tell him!  This week it was brie.

New house/food staple:  frozen pot stickers and single serve broth packs.  I took a picture of the ones I buy at Trader Joes, but can't find it.  [imagine it here]

Cooking all 5 1/2 lbs of meat, THEN freezing them, in portions.  I don't know why I never did this before, it's perfect for taking to work.

My birthday was 2 weeks ago, it wasn't what I planned (weather) but it was wonderful.  A week later I heard we are running out of helium (the gas) and could be out as soon as 2015; it kind of made my party extra special.


*my secret for extended hours (art show evening and dance party till 2am) is to order a "fashion" corset to accompany a real/steel boned corset, so that when the dancing starts I swap them! & won't die from not being able to breath.  The real corset IS needed earlier for the pictures and flirting with strangers while the lights are on.  Also, I'm attaching a ("Naughty is the New Black") t-shirt to a bustier for one night!

To go. To do. Ta-Dah!

TO-GO: I wish there were more/ healthier "to-go" food options. I survive because cliff bars exist. I eat Subway more than ever before in my life. I really want burgers. One day I went to Dick's and got 2 hamburgers (no cheese or mayonnaise OR FRIES!!), put one patty in the other bun (double meat/eating only one bun). Not as bad as eating a pizza, but I still didn't tell my trainer!

TO-DO: This week I have all the normal stuff to do, only one day off work, AND some really fun secret squirrel birthday present project to work on. And taxes! I was going to do do them in January and procrastinated SO MUCH!!

my legs!

Ta-Dah!: My Birthday Parade plans are pretty much all done! I have to buy ribbon, order a helium tank and cupcakes. And I'm done! I also have always loved watching poi spinners and found some cheap (with good reviews!) battery powered poi balls. I'm terrible. I hit myself! I haven't even been able to take a picture because I'm so bad that when I set the self timer and start spinning- in the 12 seconds until the picture takes I whack myself or tangle the balls.

(I stole the idea from this pic)

I also had some photo-ing fun with a blacklight!



And Swords! I love swords!!

Being Only Human

I missed a day at the gym because "I was too tired from staying up late (character creating for D&D with a friend) and eating a pizza." I mean, I took 24 hours to eat a whole pizza, a meal, a snack, and another meal. It was only a medium! But as soon as the words were out of my mouth my trainer went into "rage" mode.

I teased him that he never said NOT to eat pizza, he just said TO eat produce and whole grains...

Don't try that!! He doesn't think it's funny. He kicked my ass so bad. Upped everything at least 5 pounds, 5 reps, or 5 seconds... THEN upped them again for my second and third sets. I was shaking and sweating, he told me I was a hot mess. He asked me how I was doing, I told him I wanted to cry and pee my pants. He laughed. At the end of each weight set he had me on the treadmill for 2 minutes at 10 incline and the last 45 seconds he would bump it up to 11 then 12... and then 15. For the last 45 second of the last set. OMG.

ALL ASSUMPTIONS: I got my first gym borne communicable disease. I don't know how I got it in the place I got it, but it arrived, it itched, I put ointments on it and it is fading.

Yummy food I'm NOT telling my trainer about: Peanut Butter Cheerios.





Leap Year's extra day fell on Hump Day so there was Kerry Park LEAPING and (Lenin statue leg) HUMPING shenanigans:

half veggies and other woes

Today as my trainer was about to take me off carbs from 6pm-6am, my face made some... face, he re-asked my sleep schedule. And since it's not consistent, a diet based on hours of the day would not be either... We talked about food some more; since my biggest food block is vegetables and fruits, this week's change/plan/goal is to eat whole grains and 4 servings of [produce] a day.

Me: "So.. what about artichoke hearts canned in water?"
Trainer: "Hmm... They are half vegetables. Good fiber, not too much else. Try to eat colorful and fresh foods. And whole grains! No more crackers!"
Me: "So whole grain chocolate oatmeal?"
Trainer: "What?! No."

Hahaha! What are other people eating? Chocolate oatmeal makes sense. I mean, after the deliciousness of chocolate cheerios- of course I'd try the oatmeal. Seriously. I only have 3 packets left, I might eat them anyways. They really have whole grain oats, milled flax seed, and chocolate chips. They are delicious, and if I eat them gone, I won't have them to tempt me anymore.
:-)

We did some crazy metabolic workout today. Oddly the first sets of everything was worse because I was so aware and being corrected on form. Once I had that down, I could zone out and power through. Well. There's always one that makes me want to cry and arms shake and sweat drips. Also funny was conversating during it, how much can you say as you catch your breath and re-set for the next thing? Not much.

me: "ohmigod"
Trainer: How are you doing?
"hurts"
But it's a good burn. You're doing good.
me: *eyeroll* (and heavy breathing)
trainer: You're really sweaty, that's what we want. Re-set, and start in 5...4...3...
me: *wipes sweat off nose and chin and starts again*

heavy subject

I saw my trainer Thursday and he cocked his head, "Would you get on a scale?" (I stared silently at him.) "You don't have to look, but I want to track this, you look leaner but I have no way to know." Yeah. I will. Just. I don't want to be all about numbers. I feel stronger. I like going off feelings. "Do your clothes feel looser?" That's not the feelings I meant! I have no idea, I mostly wear stretchy lounge clothes, and my jeans always feel tight out of the dryer and are falling off after a day of wear.

I got on the scale... I didn't look. He worked me out really hard after that! And upped ALL my reps of ALL my activities for the next week. I did mention the cheese thing to him (that I eat it and love it) and he smiled and said, "We'll get there."

Before it's off limits- This week I ate pizza, thai, tater tots, bacon, spicy polish dog with cream cheese, booze, ice cream... I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting. I really love food.

On Valentine's Day I will be taking his spin class for the first time. I'm scared!
(photo is 2 years old)

my killer is trying to train me...

5 days at the gym- check.
at least 2 vegetables/day eaten- check.
drink lots of water- check.

What're ya gonna make me do next?! My trainer asked me if I drink a lot, he was going to ask me to stop consuming those calories! Good thing I don't drink. (often/much.) (due to medications!) He hasn't asked about cheeses yet- Oh Lord!

I took the shower head off to clean the aerator screen- my 100 y/o old building throws rust bits sometimes, and I noticed it's a "low-flow" shower head. I left the shower spigot bare, meaning to buy a higher flow or better spraying shower head. I didn't- not before I needed a shower (so much gym time)...

It's like showering under a warm garden hose. I really like the amount of water falling and that it's not spraying at me. I might not replace it now!

OooO *THIS!

In my dream world I would have a programmable bath tub. Setting it to: Full Hot Bath Ready in 90 minutes. I would go work out- come home to a drawn bath! Remove clothes and soak.